Explain Yourself

Was it easy to close the door?
Was it easy to hang up your hero hat,
to let the portcullis fall on your life, fly away?
Your stranger’s face laughing
at jokes we’ve forgotten,
in dozens of photos -
but just passing through
like a shadow on all of our faces?

Just a stop-off
on your way to something
clearly more important
than us.

Was it easy to seal off the door
of the car?
Stab your key in the silent ignition
and drive? To a street, to a wood, I don’t know –
to a park where you once loaned a ring to a girl,
I don’t know –

Was it easy to pipe – or to waft – or to
Only you know – and you planned – from exhaust into window to mouth and to heart –
Did it hurt?
Tell me –
Was it more easy than making a life?